The Genius and the Skeleton
by Basic-bookworm
Summary: When Artemis and Holly are sent to Haggard they discover more than they'd bargained for. Valkyrie's new exchange student is weird. She talks nonsense, doesn't eat meat and those mismatched eyes are a little too intuitive... UP FOR ADOPTION!
1. Something Weird

_A/N: What is it w/ AF and SP? They're SO similar but it's like nobody is willing to mix them! Well no more ppls! I present to you.... The Genius and the Skeleton._

*

**Something Weird**

"WHAT?!" Holly Short glared at her commander.

"Calm down Holly, it'll just be for a few months."

"A few months _living_ in a human residence, _going_ to a human school and _eating_ human food?!"  
Trouble Kelp knew this was going to be difficult, but Holly was the elf with the most expertise on humans. "Captain Short, you will live in the residence for two months, you will make sure nobody is suspicious of you, you will also investigate that anomally the Foaly has picked up. Do you understand?"

"Yessir." She grumbled.

It was only when Holly had finished her briefing and packing the few things she was allowed to bring (a snack for the journey, a human-sized brush that Artemis' mother had given her, and some other things) that she called Artemis.

He answered on the second ring.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to the surface."

"Why?"

Holly spoke through gritted teeth. "I'm being forced to a place called Haggard to investigate a disturbance Foaly was... disturbed at. Apparently I'm the one with most experience with humans."

She heard him chuckle gently. "You _are_ probably the only fairy in the LEP that calls us humans and not mud men... well most of us."

Holly smirked. "That's right mud boy—_almost _all of you. Listen, I'm going to be disguised as a human school girl – about your age – and I'm going to be living in someone's house as an exchange student. Do you know where Haggard is?"

"No. However I can easily find out. Do you want me to enrol temporarily in the school?"

"I wouldn't mind some help but you don't have to. Could you just... live there for a little while? Foaly's going to ask you for help anyway, this thing his sensors... sensed, well, it's _big_ and _weird_."

Artemis laughed loudly, once. "I guess '_big and weird_' is one thing to call it..."

Of course. "Artemis, you already know what's going on, don't you?"

"I didn't know you were being sent up for it. How long?"  
"Two months."

"Why two months?"

"Because it's believable for an exchange student."

"_Six_ months is believable for an exchange student."

"_Way_ too long."

"What if you need more than two months?"

"Then I'll stay, but out of sight. This whole charade is to investigate the locals."

Eight hours later, Holly Short was human-looking and in school, wearing the itchy school uniform and standing uncomfortably next to Artemis who hadn't been allowed to come unless he was enrolled as an exchange student, he was under the assumed name of Aristo Holt and he was supposed to be from the same school that Holly was supposed to be from.

For the first half of the school day they would be shown around by their respective hosts, and then after Lunch they would join said host in their classes.

Artemis' host was a boy called Remus Jackson; Holly was to be taken by someone called Stephanie Edgely.

*

Valkyrie couldn't believe her luck. The one day she was forced to go to school and she got half the day off! On the downside she'd have to tow around a snooty girl from some posh private school, but hopefully she wouldn't be _too_ bad. The exchange students were being introduced to the student body, there were eight of them, all pairs from different schools.

There was one girl who didn't look that bad, her hair was auburn and cropped, one eye was hazel and the other dark blue, that paired with her light brown skin made her look mischievous.

Valkyrie knew she wouldn't be lucky enough to end up with her.

The principal was calling out the names of the students and their wards, when each name was called the students would walk up and take their exchange student.

Valkyrie couldn't believe her luck. She got the red-head! For a moment there she thought she was going to have to take the blonde bimbo that openly turned her nose up at them.

When she reached the red-head – Holly Short – Valkyrie smiled.

"Stephanie." She said, extending a hand.

"I guessed. Holly." Holly shook it.

"I guessed. Shall we go?"

"Sure. See you Art—" t seemed like she cut herself off. Which was weird. Valkyrie glanced at the boy, and was shocked to see he had the same eyes.

"Are you related?"

"No. C'mon, let's go."

"OK."

*

_D'Arvit, D'Arvit, D'Arvit! How could I have been so _stupid_! Of _course_ she would ask if Artemis and I were related! I should havbe said we were. Now we have a curious school girl to worry about. Mind you, she's not a genius as most human school-aged kids I know are so I might get lucky..._

"And this is the Office. And this ends our tour. What do you wanna do?"

Holly blinked and stared at Stephanie. "Er... what is there to do?"

"At school, with no classes? Nothing. I don't suppose you have a good book with you?"

"She doesn't but I do."

Artemis was behind them, with Remus, a gangly teenager that looked like he was in panic mode.

"What have you done to the poor kid, Art?"

Artemis put his hands up. "I swear I've done nothing but explain to him that his theory on space-time is completely and utterly wrong. Is that so bad?"

"Yes. It's _very_ bad."

"Fine. Do you want the book?"

"Which book?" Stephanie spoke up, looking suspicious.

Artemis looked at her. "_The Vampire Lestat_. One of my mother's favourites. I knew you wouldn't bring anything to do, Holly."

"Cough it up mud boy."

He raised an eyebrow but said nothing as he handed Holly the book.

*

Holly Short's case diary. Entry #1.

After school Stephanie led me to her house, where I will be staying for the next two months. She doesn't have any friends that I am aware of. She seems like a social misfit; the only thing strange about her is that there was a Bentley by the pier, with a man that was completely covered up in the driver's seat, she glanced at it quickly, and I saw her mouth _just a minute_. When we got to her house she introduced me to her parents and said she needed to go to the toilet. When she came back she was kind of... blank. She showed me around the house, but refrained from talking. I was woken up in the middle of the night by the sound a window sill slamming open, I rushed to my own window and opened it just in time to see the man from the Bentley climb out, he stared to turn his head and I shielded. I went back in the room because it was cold, just to get my blanket, when I looked out again Stephanie was sitting on her windowsill crying, the man was nowhere in sight.

Something really weird is going on in Haggard and I think I'm in the right house to find out what.


	2. A Question of Why

A Question of Why

_Earlier that day._

"I'm going to the toilet." Valkyrie announced, knowing Skulduggery was waiting for her. She ran up the stairs, passing the toilet and tapping the full-length mirror in her wardrobe door. Her reflection stepped out and Valkyrie briefed it as she changed into her black clothes.

"See you later." Valkyrie called over her shoulder just before she jumped out of her window.

Skulduggery was waiting for her when Valkyrie got to the pier.

He was leaning against the Bentley, his arms crossed.

"Who was the girl?" He asked casually.

"Holly Short. She'll be staying at my house for the next two months."

"Any potential friendship?" He asked, opening his door.

"I'm not sure, I don't know _how_ to make a friend you age..."

Skulduggery said nothing to this.

"We've got a problem." He finally said.

"What? What problem?"

"It might not be a problem at all."

"Then why did you go and say 'we've got a problem' in a dark voice that scared me half to death?"

"I like getting you all worked up."

"Arsehole."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You're pardoned."

He sighed. "Wreath contacted me earlier today..."

"Why?" Valkyrie couldn't believe Wrath would contact Skulduggery unless absolutely necessary.

"He wanted to talk about you."

"Why?" She repeated her question.

"Because he has a theory and he told me that if his theory is true I should keep away from you."

"WHAT?!"

"That's what I said." Skulduggery seemed to be deliberately not looking at Valkyrie and this scared her. Could he know? Could he be taking her off somewhere to kill her?

"W-what's his theory?"

"You're the death bringer."

_NO!_ Oh, but it made perfect sense. I couldn't! It did. If Valkyrie was the death bringer, the most powerful of necromancers. The destroyer of the world.

Oh goodie.

"And what did you say?" Valkyrie whispered. Half afraid.

"I told him where he could stick his advice."

Valkyrie laughed and relaxed a bit. "Where?"

"I think you're a tad too young to find out."

"Oh, where?"

"Not telling." Valkyrie groaned.

"Where are we going?" She asked, looking out the window. They were already in the country, having been speeding.

"A place called Fowl Manor. A mortal residence that houses a prodigy. Something is going on with him. Has been for a few years now. He's got a file that took me three hours to read."

"And we're paying the kid a visit?"

"If I wanted to do that I could've stayed in Haggard. No, I'm paying his _bodyguard_ a visit."

The manor was _huge_. It had a slightly overgrown look to it. Skulduggery parked at the gate and pushed the intercom button.

A low gruff voice came through. "Who are you?"

"Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain. We're here to talk to a Mr. Butler?"

"Come through."

When they reached the house Skulduggery said. "Watch your back."

The man was _huge_. Well fit for the manor. He stared at them for a moment before allowing them in.

Just as she entered the room, Valkyrie was bowled down by two very excited little boys.

"MYLES! BEKETT! (_a/n: hopefully spelled right)_ Get off our guest!" The boys retreated immediately and Valkyrie was helped to her feet by a middle aged woman.

"Hello dear. I'm Mrs Fowl. Butler and the man you came with are in the other room but it looks like they're talking about private stuff so why don't we have a cup of tea?"

Valkyrie blinked. "Oh, er, yes, sure. I'm Valkyrie Cain."

The kitchen was the same as the rest of the house. Huge in italics.

"Just sit down here dear, don't mind the twins, they get very excited when we have visitors." She walked to the fridge and Valkyrie saw a bunch of photo's of what looked like the family.

On it there were various people, there was one picture in particular that caught Valkyrie's eye.

It was the exchange student who had come with Holly. She was sure of it. He was smiling thinly, sitting with the twins.

"Who's that?" Valkyrie asked, pointing to the picture. "The older one with the mismatched eyes."

Mrs Fowl looked up from the kettle. "Oh that's Artemis, my eldest son."

Valkyrie looked at the picture again, she _knew_ it was that boy that came with Holly.

So what was he doing in Haggard with a different name?

_A/N: OK. I'm just going to make this ABSOLUTLY clear, AH and Valduggery._

_You'll find out why Valkyrie was crying later._

_~Greaya/BB_


	3. Is Too

Is Too

Haggard was an average town with average people in it. The only exception was Stephanie Edgely, it was like she was two people, as if the space taken up by a personality was too much for her. Most days she was vacant, avoiding conversations, empty.

Yet, on one occasion, two weeks after Holly and Artemis had started at the school, she was alive again, and did several thing so strange that Holly knew a confrontation was coming up, whether it was Holly and Artemis confronting Stephanie or Stephanie confronting Holly and Artemis, was unclear though.

Holly made a habit of sitting next to Stephanie, when something was odd, it was always best to have a good long look.

Stephanie plunked her notebook on the desk, opened it and began drawing a strange spiral that Holly vaguely recognised, it was just a doodle so she didn't pay any attention to it—until she glanced at Stephanie's face. She was concentrating fiercely on what she was doing. Holly looked back to the book and gasped.

That earned her a few glances from across the room and a telling off from the teacher. But none of that mattered because she recognised the symbol, she watched it swirl off the page, knowing that no matter what the size of the page was it would keep going on, and on, and on. It was an ancient magical symbol used by a extinct human cult referred to as _The Ancients_ when it was translated to English. Holly had been taught this when she was at the equilevent level of learning as the humans in this room.

Stephanie hadn't looked up from the drawing.

"Stephanie." Holly whispered.

Stephanie finally looked up. "What? No, don't say, write a note, Mrs Smith has really good hearing, but is blind as a bat."

Holly frowned then tore a page out of her notebook.

_What is that?_

Stephanie read the note three times before responding.

_You have great handwriting you know. It's __called_ _a doodle._

She was right, compared to Holly's handwriting Stephanie's was almost illegible.

_It is __not__ and you know it. It's the ancient symbol of an extinct cult._

Stephanie looked up sharply, staring at Holly with narrowed eyes.

_Why did you ask me if you knew the answer?_

Holly was getting _really_ annoyed now.

_What does it mean to __you__?_

_It's a __doodle_.

_Is not._

_Is too. It's not __my__ fault that you've got an overactive imagination._

_Why would I have an overactive imagination?_

_Because you think I'm part of an extinct cult._

_I never said that. I said it was a __symbol__ of an extinct cult, not that you were __part__ of said cult._

_Whatever. Are we done?_

_No._

Valkyrie sighed.

_What now?_

_ARE you part of an extinct cult?_

However at that point the bell rang and before Holly could round up the human for verbal question, she was out of the class.

--End Chapter (cause the other thing's stopped working)—

_A/N: I am making EVERYONE who reads this story to go to my blog (the link is on my profile) and leave a comment. I'm even going to put the symbol thingy up. (it's a fanfic blog so yeah)_

_GO MY MINIONS!_

_~Greaya/May the Evil Clown/Ambiguity/Basic-bookworm_


	4. Up for adoption

AN: I am a sissy-la-la. I'm sorry but I am not continuing with this story, I am putting it up for adoption as I did with Nessie. I am just not in the same opinion that I was when I started this. I am very sorry about that but I want to be free of this story so if you're interested with adopting it than contact me and I'll get back to you.

I am very sorry for the inconvenience,

~Basic-bookworm


End file.
